Just make it stop...

It just baffles me. How depressed and horrible I felt because I didn't have a baby. And I thought I would never have one. Now I have a beautiful child and I have these feelings that I don't even want him. I cry, I don't eat, I cry some more. I cry over so many different things. For example: not being pregnant anymore, not going to have any more children (we had made that decision long ago), the fact that daddy didn't get to cut the umbilical cord (had an emergency c-section and was bleeding out too bad), the fact that I was a bitch to my husband when he bought me things during labor.....hell I cry that I cannot sleep anymore, I cry that I don't feel like I have a life, I cry because I go back to work in March and will have to leave my baby. This is nuts, I am on medicine now but PLEASE for the love of God make these feelings go away.